


The Stars That Could Be Seen Glittered Above Them

by Kealpos



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Pansexual Jeremy Heere, Trans Jeremy, Trans Male Character, idk uh song shit, its not a song fic, jeremy is pan & trans btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 16:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11672646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kealpos/pseuds/Kealpos
Summary: Jeremy Heere has felt snakes in his chest since Freshman year.Apparently it's Hanahaki. The flowers are pink. It's such a pretty color.Maybe Michael thinks so too.





	The Stars That Could Be Seen Glittered Above Them

**Author's Note:**

> elana are you proud I finally finished it and had a lot of fun writing it too

A month and a half after Michael came out to Jeremy as gay, the two boys sat in the familiar comfort of their basement hideaway, surrounded by various sodas, games, classes homework, and even a small bag of weed to the left of Jeremy, which had surprised him initially, with he and Michael only being a fresh couple months into 9th grade.

After being ultimately beaten by the angels in one of their favorite games, Hail Bloody Mary, the two boys slumped into their worn, matching bean bag chairs with equally annoyed sighs, watching the all too recognizable scene after the characters got beaten, having the souls of the main characters taken to heaven where they were trapped in holy jail for defying angels.

The company that made this game was planning to release one about zombies around when Jeremy and Michael would be more in the middle of their Sophomore year, though they doubted it would be as great as H.B.M

The two teens sat for a couple moments of silence, before something compelled Jeremy to turn to Michael and ask, “Hey dude?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“So, you’re gay, right?” he said, to which Michael replied with a snort.

“I came out to you a while ago man, you not have the concept down?”

“Wha- no! No, no I was just kinda wondering something is all.”

“Spit it out there, ‘miah,” Michael said, closing his eyes and using the usual nickname; the last part of Jeremy’s full first name.

“Yeah, well, uh, how’d you know you were gay?”

“You questioning something or you just slightly nosey?”

“Mreh. Benny from Home Ecs was saying something about every gay person figures it out because of their bests friends, and while I know that’s not true, have you ever had a crush on me, past or present? And can you promise to be one hundred percent truthful, because I don’t care if you did or still do, I just wanna know, I guess.”

“Ahhh. Yeah, no, I don’t have a crush on you. Never did. I found out because of that kid from Science I’m paired with I talk a lot about.”

“All of your talks about him are just you telling me how much you hate him, Michael.”

“Yeah, cause he’s a dick. But anyways, he invited me to a party a couple weeks before I came out- you don’t know him except through me so it’s not your fault you weren’t invited -and there, we all did teen shit, like seven minutes in heaven, and spin the bottle, and truth or dare.”

“Has it ever weirded you out how all the “teen games” are the ones having to do with kissing and getting people to confess and do stupid things?”

“Not really, but also, off-topic. Anyways, we were all playing seven minutes in heaven, me and his names got drawn, we got in the closet, and after a second or two of standing there in the dark, he asks “Wanna make out?” and I go “Sure,” and so we made out and he tells me to text him afterwards, so I do. And here I am today, after psychoanalyzing my whole crush experience, gay.”

“Ah, cool. You two gonna get together?”

“No prob buddy,” Michael said, patting Jeremy’s knee. “Also, maybe. But he isn’t out so you gotta zip it.”

“Course, Mickey.”

Jeremy ignored a sick part in his heart, writhing about and making him jealous and uncomfortable, and maybe a little sick when Michael talked about the guy from Science class.

-

Science class guy- who still didn’t have a tangible name for Jeremy -seemed to be getting along well if Michael’s smiles whenever he got a text from him were any evidence. 

Apparently, they had secretly gotten together, and if they hadn’t already, they sure fucking needed to, by the way Michael flooded him with love for this guy.

Sure, Jeremy considered it payback for all the times he talked about Christine in the past, and the times he talked about Christine now, (though he was noticing his crush on her less of a weight than normal, which was strange) but it was still a little annoying.

Then of course, one day before lunch, Michael got hit up with a text from Science guy, and asked with a smile, “Do you mind if  _ he _ joins us? He needs a break from the people he usually sits with.”

Jeremy kinda  _ did _ mind, but with that face, Jeremy simply sighed and said “Alright, but only because I wanna know his name.”

Michael fistpumped the air at his answer, and promptly texted Science guy back with an affirmative, giving Jeremy his ‘You are my favorwite person’ face.

Jeremy wondered if he ever gave Science guy that face.

At lunch, the guy was already in the lunchroom, though not sitting down, and gave Michael a blushy hello, and Jeremy a friendly “Nice to meet you, I’m Jesse! Michael’s…. friend? Uh.. oh, wait, right, he- you- know, heh. Yeah. Friend, who’s a boy.”

Jesse was sweet, to say the least.

He was a bit shorter than Michael and Jeremy, with dark hair and matching skin, his hair pulled up into a bun. He smiled wide, was affectionate, but made inappropriate jokes, and caught several of the geeky references Michael and Jeremy pulled out of their asses.

Jeremy had to admit, he liked him. Michel liked him, though in a slightly different way, evidence by him getting flustered more than once by Jesse.

Jeremy felt the twisting sensation again, like a thousands snakes were slithering inside him all at once. 

He pushed it away. Jesse was good.

-

Jesse was still good, Jeremy knew that. But having Michael cry into his arms because Jesse wasn’t allowed to talk to him ever again made the snakes whisper into Jeremy’s ear to hate the boy, try to writher up his throat and force something out that Jeremy didn’t know if they were cruel words or not. Better to keep them locked up.

Jesse’s parents had found a text from Michael because of a dumb mistake, and the next day, he said to Michael, quietly, before school, looking at his shoes out of shame, guilt, and sadness, that his parents didn’t want him dating a boy anymore.

Michael understood, but was still heartbroken, considering the two had been dating all the way into a couple of Sophomore year’s months.

So, Michael rounded Jeremy up, and drove him home, refusing to stay at school.

The snakes seemed a little more yet a little less aggressive than usual, which confused Jeremy, but he pushed questioning it aside for another time.

-

His crush on Christine had fully dissipated at this point, late September of Junior year, Jeremy rarely ever thought about her anymore.

So who was the source of the snake finally forcing itself up, revealing to actually be made out of flowers and petals?

After doing some research and remembering, he figured out that the pink flower he was spitting into the grimy school toilet was called a Phlox, and symbolized harmony, and that he had Hanahaki, which they taught about in first grade to the simplest extent, refusing to use language such as “death.”

All that had happened before this was Michael commenting about some boy, saying that he loved an actor guy, and then when his friend went to class, Jeremy hung back slightly and signing up for the play, getting called gay by someone, even though he wasn’t. He didn’t think he was, at least. Maybe bi. Or pan. Those were phrases that would better describe him, the meanings of which he’d learnt in the GSA meetings he was dragged to.

After that, he caught up with Michael, who took one look at him, sighed, and plucked his glasses off, handing them to Jeremy. Jeremy liked everything to be fuzzy when he didn’t feel good, and he Michael understood, besides lecturing him on how he might have to get glasses of his own if he keeps this up, but Jeremy shrugged it off as a consequence he could live with.

Michael was nearsighted, but he could still make out fuzzy shapes of color, which is the only reason he let Jeremy borrow the glasses.

Today, Jeremy felt compelled to ask, “Hey, do I look good in glasses? If I ever do get glasses I wanna make sure I don’t look gross. At least more than usual. Whatever.”

Then after a moment, Michael suddenly leaned in, extremely close to his face, causing Jeremy’s open mouth to snap shut out of shock.

“What- what are you, uh, doing?” Jeremy stammered out after he spotted a weird look with his peripheral vision.

“My vision is shit, dude. I have to get close to properly see you. Also, yeah, you don’t look disgusting, if you trust my judgement,” Michael said, pulling away and ruffling Jeremy’s hair.

Michael gave him a wide smile and and quick goodbye, plucking the glasses off his friend’s face, because they both knew how his teacher was about being late, and so Jeremy gave him his goodbye back, his heart and snakes pouding together in his chest and throat.

And then he ran to the bathroom, where he puked.

He finally stopped.

And then the door opened, someone stepping inside, and whoops nope he puked again. The guy who had just entered stood stock-still for a few seconds, before scoffing, and heading back out, mumbling things about eating disorders, and the “pussies who have ‘em.”

Jeremy went to the nurse after that, and then home, after a call to his dad.

-

After joining in on the play, he became pretty friendly with everyone on the team, even though they were composed of mostly drama kids and popular kids, with Christine being kind of both, by drawing the attention of Jake Dillinger. 

Who knew he’d be fucking around backstage with Christine Canigula? 8th grade Jeremy would’ve lost his damn mind.

The halloween party was a huge disaster, with Jake’s house being set on fire, but not many people got hurt, thankfully, due to firefighters getting over quickly, though they lost Rich as a role due to him getting hurt and Jake had both legs broken, causing him to glare at Christine when she said the “Break a leg” good luck thing.

The play almost went to plan, but out of nervousness, everyone did ecstasy right before first performance, causing it to be a bit of a flop, which was a bummer.

Jeremy was less nervous about the actual performance in front of the whole school as he had set lines; no need for improv.

His nerves were more about Michael probably seeing him. He had invited him, and he really hoped he showed up, though, what if he caught his friend’s gaze and puked up flowers in front of the whole school? That would be horrible.

Everyone who had done ecstasy had somehow grown closer out of the experience, and now Jeremy kinda had more friends. Michael too, due to association. They confessed to one another one day in the basement that it was a really strange experience, getting closer to people, especially people who had kinda hated them for years, though the cruelty may have sorta been an act.

Jeremy still up-chucked flowers constantly, and he knew what he was getting into as the flowers grew bigger and there were more in bundles. He just let it happen, mind always drifting to that day in Freshman year, and Jesse, who had said a total of three sentences to Michael since they broke up, one asking if Michael had notes he could borrow, in a monotone and sorry voice.

Usually, he held back flowers with food or excuses to the bathroom, at least when Michael was around, which was most of the time.

One day though, he texted about how he had a 24 hour bug and was staying home today, which Jeremy saw as a blessing, which he immediately scolded himself for.

Though… Jeremy hadn’t suffered through a Hanahaki attack all day, which was unusual, to say the least, so he was in an extremely happy mood when he got to lunch, and his cheery mood was immediately picked up on when he slid into his spot on the table.

“So,” Chloe started, as Jeremy pulled out and started eating his sandwich. “You’re especially sunny, and Michael’s missing… You two have sex and he’s got worse hair than you afterwards?”

And Jeremy promptly choked on his sandwich, and his flowers.

“Chloe!” Christine squawked, swiping at the shrugging girl’s jacket as Jeremy coughed. “When you volunteered to ask Jeremy, we assumed you were going to be more delicate about it!”   
  


“You guys should’ve really know better considering who I am, and- okay you know what? Jeremy? You alright there, you’ve been coughing for almost a minute now...,”

Chloe’s voice trailed off as Jeremy yanked his bag up to his mouth, finally hacking out the two flowers that had gotten stuck in his throat.

Great.  _ That _ happiness was gone.

The other members of the table, who had been looking on, now sat silent, and mildly horrified.

“What the fuck?” Jake finally asked, breaking the table’s bubble of silence.

“Hanahaki,” Jeremy wheezed in reply, smacking his lungs for anything else that wanted to make an appearance right then. “I’ve got hanahaki.”

“Which girl?”

“I’m actually pan,” Jeremy said, wincing as he looked at the size of the flowers. Fuck, they were really big, and had red blood coloring the pink of the petals.

“Uhm, well, congrats on coming out? So, then, I don’t want to assume, but is it-”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s Michael, I know the rumors about us dating. We aren’t even close to that level. This is the first time I’ve come out to someone besides myself in the mirror.”

Jeremy wiped away tears that clouded his vision that had developed out of the excessive coughing, continuing on talking.

“I suspect I’ve had it, or been developing it, since Freshman year, though I never actually coughed anything up until this last September, and I was in a guiltily happy mood because for the first time in months, I didn’t see Mikey and have to rush to the bathroom to puke. So, I felt nice and good about Michael not being here for once. And then, I’m not blaming you, it got fucked up by the sex question.”

“Do you think you’re gonna tell him or get the surgery?”   
“I’m pretty opposed to the surgery, for the obvious reason of him being a huge part in my entire life, but I’ll think about it. I  _ have _ been thinking about it. And for confessing, I dunno if I can go through with that. If there were circumstances where I wouldn’t die with rejection, then I’d probably already tell him, because I doubt he’d throw away twelve years of friendship, even if he didn’t like me back. But, with hanahaki in the mix? Ha. Useless case.”

Jeremy laid his head on the table, closing his eyes, when he felt someone slide over and then encouragingly rub circles into his back.

“Well,” Brooke started, placing a voice, face, and name to the reassuring touch. “It’s not my place, but I do think you should tell him. It’s better to try getting an answer before deciding that it’s a done deal.”

Jeremy sat up, giving the blonde a sad smile.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. There’s a drive-in movie that me and Michael are planning to go together. I’ll- I’ll tell him then. I promise.”

-

[HeereLives]

I know i know, im just worried

[PinkberrySponserMe]

Itll all be fine, im sure of it

[BisAgainstKermit]

Yeah, like brooke said. We’re all rooting for you jerem.

[HeereLives]

Oh shit, i think he just honked. Gtg, guys. Ill fill you in on what happens when i get home.

Jeremy looked up from his phone, buzzing with goodbyes and encouragement, to hear the confirming knock, taking a deep breath, and standing up.

Since it was just a drive-in movie- of the newest Spiderman for referance -the boys decided to not dress up fancy, opting for just pajamas, with Michael bringing blankets and the like in the truck one of his mom’s let him borrow.

Jeremy and Michael went through a whole ordeal a couple minutes before Michael left, with the other boy making sure Jeremy was not wearing his binder to the thing, and completely mothering him, only feeling satisfied when Jeremy just texted him a picture of him wearing a compression sports bra, not the damn binder because “dude, I’m not an idiot. I know what I’m doing.”

Jeremy called up to his dad that he was heading out now, and opened the door, practically getting smacked in the face with gay.

Michael was… well… indescribable, truly.

He hadn’t styled his hair, leaving it a really curly mess; he was wearing those dumbass minion wine mom pajama pants that Jeremy had custom ordered for Michael’s birthday as a joke, and a shirt that Michael had custom ordered himself to fuck with Jeremy with the same wine mom minion meme; and had horrendous, black emo bunny slippers on, which Jeremy recognized as the ones that played a song of choice, with Michael deciding on The Black Parade when first purchasing them.

And Jeremy laughed loud and fucking hard when he first saw him, because he looked ridiculous, and Jeremy loved that about him.

“What?” Michael said, grinning ear to ear. “I have something on my face?”

Jeremy snorted, doubling over, and latching on to Michael’s shoulders as another wave of laughter hit him.

“You- look- like- a- dumbass,” Jeremy managed in between wheezes.

“I am offended! These masterpieces are my classiest of clothing. Look at me, getting all dressed up, just for you to laugh in my face.” 

At that, Michael sighed overdramatically, and placed a hand to his forehead, Jeremy finally calming down.

“Yeah, yeah dude. You can look like the belle of the ball and stupid as fuck, no worries man,” Jeremy said, patting Michael’s shoulder with a smile.

In reply, Michael put his hands up in defeat and threw an arm around his shoulders, leading him out, and the reality of what he was going to do began to set in for Jeremy.

Jeremy swallowed back a flower, getting into the truck opposite of Michael, and closing his eyes as it got started up.

He never liked being in trucks, buses, or on mountains. Just a fear he never really told anyone, rather just digging his nails into his palms when being forced to go in/on the three things. He told Michael once though, who then reached over, grabbing the closest hand and squeezed, Jeremy exhaling a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, but then forced Michael to take the hand back.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Jeremy felt a poke to his side, prompting him to open eyes as they pulled into the ticket booth, Jeremy passing the money for his ticket over.

After they found their parking spot and had climbed back into the mound of pillows and blankets, the shorter boy pulled out a phone and set it to the radio station they were supposed to be using, placing it between he and the other’s heads.

As the movie progressed, they slowly got closer together, until Michael was sitting in Jeremy’s lap, as Jeremy laid on all the pillows, with the blankets a mess around and on them.

Around halfway through the movie, Jeremy ended up running his hands on Michael’s undercut, letting himself calm down through this act before he ultimately fucked up this action, either by making it creepy, or making it romantic. 

Eventually, the movie ended, and the two boys hadn’t said anything to each other during its entirety. It was nice.

The night was cool, and as the credits rolled, cars rumbled and drove away around them, leaving only a couple to stay.

The stars were dull thanks to air pollution, but you could still spot a few, shining notoriously bright.

Michael moved to get up, and Jeremy realized it would have to be it any second now. They were going to drive away from here and the moment had a large chance of dying, either from forgetting, actually dying, and refusing to acknowledge the night ever happened.

And Jeremy was scared.

“Hey, hand me your phone?” Michael said after standing up, beginning to climb out of the trucks back part, and Jeremy obeyed, letting his maybe-not-going-to-be-after-this-friend mess with his phone, until Michael hit the volume button and set it down, reaching a hand out to Jeremy.

Jeremy leaned forwards, taking hold of Michael’s hand and letting him pull him out of the car, steadying himself as Michael picked up the phone again, and touched the screen, letting music leak out.

“Wha-”

“Shh,” Michael interrupted, grabbing Jeremy’s shoulder lightly, and, oh. He was half-asleep and wanted to dance. “It’s a nice night out, and I wanna dance with somebody.”

They had done this plenty of times before because of their equal but clashing dance skills, with Jeremy taking ballet for 6 years and Michael ballroom for 5, but tonight felt different, if only because Jeremy felt like the atmosphere was something out of a romcom. A really cheesy one at that.

Yet..

“ _ Quand il me prend dans ses bras, il me parle tout bas, je vous la vie en rose.”  _ A girl’s voice sang from the phone, Michael beginning to move with Jeremy to the singing.

“ _ Il me dit des mots d’amour, des mots de tous les jours, et ça m’ fait quelque chose.” _ Jeremy could feel his face settle into warm pink, but they kept dancing together.

There were other cars still here. What were they doing here, he wondered. What were the people doing? Sleeping? Kissing? Having sex? He didn’t want to dwell on it.

“ _ Il est entré dans mon coeur, une part de bonheur, dont je connais la cause.” _ Where has he heard this before? ‘How I Met Your Mother’ he was pretty sure, though, he doubted this was the original.

“ _ C’est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans le vie, il me l’a dit, jure pour la vie. Et, dès que je l’aperçois, alors je sens en moi, mon coeur-” _

“Michael?” Jeremy finally choked out, in the middle of a line.

Michael made a humming sound in the tune of the song playing around them as confirmation, letting Jeremy go on.

“I kinda need to say something.

“ _...and hold me fast, this magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose..” _

“So, we’ve been best friends for years.”

“ _...heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes, I see la vie en rose.” _

“But, even though I didn’t know until last September, I had a secret since Freshman year.”

_...apart, a world where roses bloom.” _

“Michael, I have hanahaki.”

“ _ And when you speak, angels sing from above.” _

“What?” Michael said, opening his eyes quickly.

_ “Everyday words seem to turn to love songs.” _

“Michael..”

“ _ Give your heart and soul to me.. _ ”

“Jeremy?”

“ _...and life will always be la vie en rose.” _

_ “ _ I love you.”

The song faded away into the girl talking as Michael gaped down slightly at Jeremy, who could feel flowers begin to crawl up his throat, but he kept eye contact.

And then, Michael smiled fondly, kissing the other boy, and every flower seemed to turn into melted chocolate, sliding down quickly, and with a wonderful taste, and Michael’s lips didn’t taste too bad either.

So Jeremy kissed back, and the stars that could be seen glittered above them.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is La Vie En Rose, but the cover by Dodie! (=^.^= )


End file.
